Chemo Treatment #1

Today was the day that finally made it real. It wasn't the phone call. It wasn't the numerous test results. It wasn't the meetings with doctors. I have officially begun treatment for cancer. It's still baffling.

As I've mentioned a few times, I've been sick with a nasty sinus infection. Because I haven't had a fever, they could proceed with the chemo. I still felt a bit crappy today but much better than yesterday, which is great. Prior to leaving, I did a quick naked, just peed, no food in my tummy weigh-in (all women do this, right??). While I have lost about three lbs this week (LOTS of fluids!), I was not too pleased to notice that I currently weigh one pound more than I did when I was nine months pregnant with Hannah. Did I mention that I gained 40 lbs then? Holy frumpiness! I had to just laugh... It is what it is!

Matt and Maddie went with me to the hospital. Matt needed to drop Maddie off at school but wanted to get me situated. She was clearly unnerved but didn't gripe or anything. I did tell her that it wasn't like going to grandma's nursing home and she wouldn't have to pass sick people on rooms or anything. I told her that I'd likely be the youngest one there. She was a bit relieved.

I got checked in, said goodbye to Matt and Maddie and sat down in the waiting room. I realized that I was shaking. I was scared shitless. I won't even pretend that I wasn't. I maintained composure and answered texts and messages to distract me.

Shortly thereafter, I went in to see one of my many nurses. Her name is Candy and she's as sweet as her name. (Okay, that was so lame that even I gagged...) She went over what I could expect today and said that Dr. Nelson would be in to see me in a few minutes.

A few minutes turned into 20. Normally, I'd be annoyed but today? I was about to scale the ceiling from sheer nerves. I was alone and feeling sick and needy. Pooooor me. Dr. Nelson came in and told me that he was pleased to report that I was not pregnant. WHEW! What a relief! Given the fact that I haven't had a period in over six years and Matt's been nipped and tucked, it would be an immaculate conception and let's face it... That ain't happening. I'm a heathen. Duh. We discussed that all of my scans were clean and that my BRCA test also came back negative - so I didn't have the mutated gene and wasn't a carrier. Hooray for keeping my ovaries! It's also huge news for my sister and girls. Their risk is still higher but not AS high as it would be if it had been positive.

He gave me a quick exam (listened to my heart and looked in my ears, etc., and asked how my sinus infection was). From there, he gave me the green light and told me that I could head back to the waiting room to be called back for chemo. I will see him every three weeks.

Matt got back minutes after I went to the waiting room. Several minutes later, I was lead back to the chemo room. They have 14 rooms. They're pretty small and have a regular chair and a big ol' reclining BarcaLounger. There's a TV and wifi. I guess if you're going to get poison pumped through your body, you might as well be comfortable, right?

My nurse for the session was Lily and she smelled as lovely as her name. (Okay, now I'm just making shit up. I didn't smell her. That's kinda creepy.) She took the dressing off of my port and my GOD did it feel good. The tape was irritating my skin like crazy and it itched so badly. She cleaned me off and plopped on a dab of lidocaine then covered it with some plastic wrap. Once it set - about 45 minutes later - I was ready to have the IV started.

The numbing cream is some great stuff. She went right into the port, which looks like a small, round doorbell under my left upper chest. I felt only one, small pinch and that was it. I had to be medicated with several meds to help prevent any side effects. The first on tap was a steroid. Oh, yippy. The last time I took a steroid (Prednisone - ew), I could eat anything in sight and was worried that tree bark might start to look appealing. I gained 10 lbs in a week, too. Unfun. I realize that I don't have much room for vanity right now but geez!

The next two meds were Xanax and Pepcid. Nice! Lastly, Benadryl. I realized with all this stuff, I could likely leave feeling better than I felt coming in. Clearly, that wouldn't happen often! It took about 30 minutes or so for the premeds to finish going through my system. I was a little sleepy from the Benadryl, which wasn't a bad thing, in my humble opinion.

It was finally time for the big show... Lily started the Taxol IV. The only things I experienced were a slight metallic taste in my mouth and towards the end, restless, uncomfortable legs. She told me that was from the Benadryl. Keep in mind that besides the drip today, I've had a bit of Benadryl the last few days, too. The total infusion time was an hour.

During chemo, we watched "Don't Forget the Lyrics". Anyone that knows me knows that I have to sing along. I just have to. If that show is on each time I have chemo, I'll either entertain the socks off of the others there or annoy the living hell out of them. Much to my surprise and delight, Lily came in and sang along, too. I like this woman!

I did doze off a couple of times, which was nice. During that period of time (approximately 2.5 hours), I peed like a racehorse three times. THREE!!! I normally have a major camel bladder. Matt told me he hasn't known me to pee like that in 20 years!

All told, it was a non-event. Ironically, I feel better today than I have in days. Go figure. I know that I have some ugly, rough days ahead but I will certainly appreciate these good days - even if they're few and far between as I go. I prayed for strength and it appears that someone heard me.

I got a lot of notes, texts, wall postings, and even some fun tshirts and flowers from friends and family and it meant the world to me. Many people at work wore pink in my honor today, too. You are some incredible people and I'm very thankful. :)

Peace out... Xoxo