Friday, May 25, 2012

Crack whore in da' house...

Nice bruise, eh?

Chemo Treatment #8

Happy Friday!

Yesterday was my official halfway point for ALL of chemo. It's a very exciting milestone! I can do this!

As always, I got my bloodwork done first. There are two techs. One is a little rougher than the other and I always feel a little pinch from the needle insertion to the spring-loaded butterfly clip to release it. The other tech is gentle as can be and I rarely feel a thing. I got the rough girl. She stuck the needle in and yeah - that pinched. We chatted and she told me how hungry she was for lunch already. She said "I am a fat girl on the inside" (She's a tiny thing.) I laughed and said "Well, I'm a fat girl on the outside!" She didn't know what to say to that. Touché, skinny girl. Of course, she pinched me again taking the needle out so I guess we were even. When I got upstairs, I took the bandage off and was treated to an ugly bruise. Swell. I guess since it's the first time that's happened in 8 weeks, I shouldn't complain too much but come on. I look like a crack addict.

I had a new nurse, who's name is Amber. She looked to be no more than about 19. She was very sweet but seemed to drop everything in sight. Matt just rolled his eyes.

Taking the press-and-seal from my port revealed a lovely red blotch. I don't know if it was from the wrap or the lidocaine. I really hope it was only from the wrap. When she got ready to insert the needle into my port, she seemed to have some trouble finding it. Sure enough, she jabbed me and hit the side of the port. Pinch! Take 2... She still pinched me but she got it in. The site seemed to burn a little but I think it was from being jabbed and that my skin was a bit irritated.

I slept hard for most of the infusion - waking only when that damn alarm on the IV machine went off. Uncle Benny gave me quite a powerful punch so by the time we left, I was completely dazed. I was starving, though, so as tired as I was - food took priority. Where did we go? Duh. Chuy's, of course!

On the way home, we headed to Sam Moon (a weird accessories store) at the suggestion of someone that worked in another sex shop that didn't carry wigs. (What?!) I was skeptical but sure as shit, they DID! Straight, curly, layered, long, short, medium... They only had "normal" colors but I was still as happy as a pig in mud. I ended up with three more wigs; a short, black, Pulp Fiction-esque wig, a shoulder-length dark brown/black wig that looked similar to my natural color (that I haven't seen in umpteen years, I might add) and another one that was the same style but was a reddish/auburn. It's a cool color and I really dig it. They're fun and allow me to spice it up a bit. Bald may be beautiful but hair makes me feel like a girl. Not always the same thing.

I didn't sleep a wink when I got home. This is the first time that I haven't slept after chemo. Really odd. Going to bed last night, I took an Ambien and went right to bed but it still took at least an hour to make me fall asleep. I think I woke up once or twice but couldn't say with complete certainty, strangely. I woke up at a pretty normal time but it seems to take a long time for me to feel normal after an Ambien night. I don't have a buzzed bubble head like with many painkillers or whatever but it's like I'm sleepwalking but can think pretty clearly. It was early afternoon before that subsided. I'm sleepy now but can't seem to fall asleep. Dammit.

All things considered, I really do feel great today. I'm in a good mood and feel more determined than ever to kick the shit out of this thing.

I get a date night with Matt tonight. What better way to spend this wonderful Friday night?

Have a good night! Peace out!

**By the way... We totally forgot to take my picture at chemo and remembered when we got to Chuy's. Notice the dazed/stoned look on my face. Pretty.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


So, it's Tuesday night and aside from a few hit-the-wall moments, it's actually been a really good week so far.  Ain't that a kick in the pants?  I've been trying to figure out what I've done differently since it's the best I've felt in the last several weeks.  I've been taking Benadryl before I go to bed to help with the head funk but also to help me sleep.  It's been working quite nicely. (Dammit if that company shouldn't make me a spokeswoman!) I think the fact that I'm sleeping pretty regularly has helped with the overall fatigue but I think I've uncovered another secret weapon..

I've been eating like Jabba the Hut.  Yes, I've been a sloth.  I haven't been eating a lot of junk - well, maybe a little - but I've been eating a LOT.  Oddly, most food tastes either really bland or just off, yet, I keep stuffing my piehole.  I blame the steroid, of course, but I can't think of anything else that I've done differently this week as opposed to other weeks.  I'm definitely gaining weight.  Anyone that thinks that having cancer and chemo will make you suddenly lose all kinds of weight clearly hasn't met me.  This is no time to be overly vain, so I'm largely amused by it (see what I did there?) and don't get too upset.  I'm not thrilled that I have been growing out of my pants and have to buy more.  God help me if I have to resort to pleated mom-jeans.

This weight gain does have it's advantages.  The obvious one is that I'm packing it on so that when I DO get sick, I won't get completely emaciated and wither away.  The other advantage is that I really am harvesting body parts.  Since I was told that my own tissue can be used, I'd like to think that my extra chub is really just my new set of boobies.  If I want to have a rack anything like I have now, I have work to do still, too.  Pass the gravy!  Mama needs some new hooters!

In addition to my growing body, I have also experienced some other physical changes.  My skin is a hot mess.  The Taxol rash is getting better but it's still there.  It's worse at the base of my skull down to my neck.  My chest is a little rashy as well.  My face, which has always been prone to breakouts, is super dry and ultra sensitive.  I remember hearing about the "mask of pregnancy" where the pigment in pregnant women's skin darkens on their faces.  What I have looks a little like that.   Thankfully, makeup helps.  My eyelashes have definitely thinned out but my lashes almost look longer.  Odd.  My eyebrows have continued to thin out, too, but still not to the point that I've had to really do anything.  It's just made grooming easier.  Those pesky chin hairs?  Buh-bye.  I really can't complain about that part at all.  Who wants chin hair?  Well, other than a 13-year old boy, right?

I've worn my wig (the normal, brown variety) to work the last two days.  I really didn't think I would wear it to work but the scarves/hats can be awfully distracting.  The scarves start to loosen as the day goes by so I'm constantly tugging at them.  The hats?  I wore one once and just felt stupid.  I'd never wear a hat at work on a normal day otherwise, so it felt really out of place.  I'd love to go all Yul Brenner, but with my rashy head, I don't want to scare people off or be uncomfortable because, yes, I'm self-conscious about my head rot.  So sue me.  Once it clears up and I'm smooth and shiny bald, oh, I'm so there.  You can count on it.  The wig has garnered quite a few "something's different and I can't quite place it..." looks.  I won't wear it all the time, but works right now.  It also keeps me from scratching as much, so there's that.

This Thursday is the 8th chemo treatment.  It will be my official halfway point with treatments.  I have 6 months' worth, but I have 16 treatments altogether.  (12 weekly and then 1 every 3 weeks for a total of 12 more weeks.)  I can do this.  It will get worse before I'm completely "well" but for crying out loud - I have a whole lot of living to do.  I haven't been to Paris or driven an old school muscle car or won big in the lottery or swung on a stripper pole.  Okay, I realize that some of those may be unrealistic... Like winning the lottery.  A girl can dream, though, right?

Thank you for all of your love and support.  Thanks for being amused by my story.  Someone else told me today that I inspired her to get a mammogram.  That, my friends, is what this is all about.

And with that... peace out.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Chemo Treatment #7

Lucky #7!

Yesterday was my mega visit, which includes the nurse assessment and my visit with Dr. Nelson, my oncologist - in addition to the normal bloodwork and chemo sessions.  This meant a nearly 4-hour hospital  excursion.  Good times.

To spice things up a little for this visit, I decided to don my new, sex shop-purchased pink wig.  Why the hell not?  Of all places to wear it, chemo seemed like the most appropriate.  People seemed to love it.  I didn't get the same odd looks that I did with the mohawk or even when I'm bald.   People couldn't help but grin.  As we got onto the elevator, a man around our ages said, "I love the color!"  I said, "It IS natural, you know."  Ha.  Such humor.  He said, "My daughter would love it."  Given the fact that it was a crowded elevator and the strong likelihood that she is on the young side, I refrained from letting him know where he, too, could purchase one.  Oy.

As we got to the very packed doctor's office, I got smiles and several comments.  One of the receptionists said to me, "You know, that's a really good color for you" with a completely serious face.  Of course, her hair was chock full of a rainbow of highlights, but still.  I'd never choose pink in the "real" world, but hey, a compliment is a compliment and I accepted it as such and thanked her as any good girl should.

The nurse was my favorite dude nurse, Mark.  He, of course, loved the wig and told me that he still has my mohawk picture.  I chose not to dwell on that one since it could head towards creepy town very fast.  He asked all the standard questions and we discussed my symptoms this past week.  As I've mentioned, it wasn't a great week.  He asked if I had taken my anti-nausea medicine.  (Compazine)  I told him that I hadn't because after reading the lengthy list of side effects, I decided to suck it up and deal with the nausea.  He stopped writing, closed his eyes, hung his head and said, "You can't DO that.  Don't read that stuff.  Everything you ingest has side effects!  This is one of the mildest. TAKE IT!"  Duly noted.  Will do, sir. We chit-chatted a bit and he handed me a lovely gown and headed out.

While we waited for Dr. Nelson, it was time to put on my glob of lidocaine.  I put on my gown and Matt helped me with my supplies - the lidocaine, a rubber glove and a square of press-and-seal wrap.  MacGyver could do some damage with that stuff, I'm sure.  I dabbed away and grabbed the press-and-seal to keep it in place.  After I stuck it to my chest, I realized that I had put it on backwards, which meant that it stuck to everything BUT my skin.  Ugh.  I couldn't really take it off and turn it around because I'd get the lidocaine everywhere and let's face it - numb fingers and hands and good GOD - a stray nipple - would be rather unfun.  I had to hold my gown loosely open so that it didn't stick but still keep my boobs covered.  Class.  All the way.

When Dr.  Nelson came in, he was definitely flustered.  He said, "WOW! You're really having fun with this thing!"  Um, not so sure that I'm having fun with it - it IS cancer, afterall, but yes, I'm making the most of a shitty situation and am being silly.  He had this weird nervous giggle.  Maybe he has a thing for pink hair? Awkward.  We discussed my symptoms and he said, "You're doing okay."  Okay? Just OKAY?  Not "You're doing really well."?  What the hell?  Matt said that I read way too much into that statement.  I'd never do such a thing.  He asked if I was being dilligent about taking my anti-nausea meds.  Matt shot me an "I TOLD YOU SO" look.  I sheepishly shook my head and told him why.  He laughed and told me to take it; that it would definitely help.  Argh. Busted twice.  He also told me that the fact that my tumor has reduced is huge, so it's working, which is great news.  Indeed, it is!  My counts looked good, so I was free to get chemo.  Yay!

I was very pleased to have Lilli this week!  Woo hoo!  The infusions themselves were the same as always.  As knocked out from the Benadryl as I always get, I couldn't fall asleep.  I'd doze, but never for more than a few minutes at a stretch.  Sadly, there wasn't any monkey porn on or even "Don't Forget the Lyrics".  I don't recall what we watched, but I can barely remember my own name some days, so it's really neither here nor there, I guess.  I was finished at right about noon and off we headed to Chuy's.  Delish.

I've been down this week.  I won't lie.  I don't want to feel weak or sick. (Who does?)  I feel chubby and ugly and all that.  My baby bird hair is starting to fall out again, which is so weird.  Make up your damn mind!  Either grow or fall out, already!  I felt pretty good on Wednesday, but moved very slowly all day.  I didn't hurt but just didn't have a whole lot of energy.  I felt great yesterday and today.  I did take an Ambien last night, but it took over 2 hours to kick in.  I woke up at about 7am today but the medicine hadn't worn off yet.  I felt groggy for most of the day, but not sick or in pain or anything.  It's not like a Benny buzz at all but more like you haven't quite woken up but your brain seems to be working okay.  Tough to explain.

I've found that I feel the most normal on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  I start to feel pretty run down on Saturday and by Sunday, I'm wiped out.  Mondays and Tuesdays are usually okay, but that fatigue smacks me upside the head pretty hard still on those days, too.  I haven't had any significant aches or pains and what I do experience is manageable for the most part.  This past week was the exception, hopefully, and not my new norm.

I actually shot some hoops with Maddie tonight. (And yes, I made many of them!)  It's the most physically active that I've been in 7 weeks.  I know I'll probably pay for it tomorrow, but it was totally worth it tonight.  I didn't suck.  We played for about 30 minutes or so and I decided to quit before I got pooped.  It was lots of fun.

Last weekend, Hannah helped our friends, Margaret and her daughter, Sheridan with a local Relay for Life event.  She was so excited and I was so proud of her.  She sent me a pic of the luminary that she made for me, which was wonderful.  This coming weekend, my friend, Matt F. (I know a LOT of Matts) is participating in a Relay for Life event in Ohio in honor of his mom and me.  Another friend of mine, Mike S. (I know even more Mikes)  ran a marathon in my honor a few weeks ago.  My Facebook wall is flooded every Thursday with people wishing me well during chemo.  I get so many encouraging texts and emails, too.  I'm humbled and honored by all of it.  It's a really crappy reason for sure, but it all means a great deal to me.  You're all pretty damn awesome.  You definitely lift me up when I'm feeling all sorry for myself.  I have my own little pink army and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Okay.  Enough with the sap.  I'm gagging myself.  I have a very early morning tomorrow and I've taken some Advil PM in the hopes that I'll sleep.  Wish me luck!


Monday, May 14, 2012

Chemo works!

I've felt like dog meat the last couple of days. Headache, nausea, more fatigue, etc. I had an ultrasound today, though, to check on the size of my tumor. I'm super excited to report that it appears to be about HALF the size that it originally was. If I hadn't felt so crappy, I would have cried right there in the exam room. I've cursed chemo and it's effects pretty hard lately but this makes it all worth it.

Thank you for your well wishes, good thoughts and prayers. My cancer is shrinking. What better news??

Friday, May 11, 2012

Chemo Treatment #6

I've reached the halfway point for the first 12 weeks of chemo!  Yippy-kie-aye!  #6 - in the can!

Yesterday was actually a great day.  Oddly, I really look forward to chemo days.  I know that the premeds make me feel normal overall - not just the day of chemo itself.  I also feel like this is my big fighting day, too.  I'm excited to go to the hospital and get the show on the road.

My nurse yesterday was Angelette (I may be butchering her name).  I had her a few weeks ago and she really is nice as can be.  Lilli hasn't been my nurse since the second week.  While I do miss her - I've had many great nurses and really have no complaints about the treatment I've gotten.

Angelette got my IV started into my port without incident.  My favorite - the Benadryl - was last before the Big Show (Taxol).  As that kicked in, we started to watch a show about Baboons.  You KNOW something gross and disturbing will happen with baboons.  What better show to watch while on a Benny drip?  I was not disappointed...  As soon as Angelette disappeared outside of the curtain/door to my room, I looked up to find a male baboon getting his groove on with a miss thing baboon in a tree. Yes, a TREE.  He was working it.  It was total baboon porn.  I pointed and yelled to Matt, "LOOK! They're getting it ON!"  The plot thickened when the narrator explained that Romeo wasn't really her main squeeze (Pun intended? I think perhaps...).  Her dude was on the ground and was not happy.  Shenanighans ensued and a baboon fight broke out.  I was entralled.  Such quality TV viewing.

I told Angelette what she had missed when she came back and she went on to explain that the nurses were a raunchy bunch.  Oh, really??  Someone was really looking out for me when I ended up at this hospital. These are my people!  A buncha dirty Gerties.  Love it.

I sorta kinda dozed on and off but even though she had slowed down my Benadryl drip, my legs were still all dancy and restless.  The effect otherwise, though, was super strong.  I was stoned.  Period.  Angelette did say to me, "You're not driving home, right?"  I shook my head and shook a thumb in Matt's direction.  "Ohhhh no. That's what Jeeves over here is for."  They laughed.

Before she started the Benadryl infusion I asked again about what to expect with the next 12 weeks of chemo.  She told me to quit listening to people since they're all a bunch of nay sayers.  She said that it's like pregnancy.  "Everyone wants to tell you their horror stories."  She assured me that they will monitor me extremely closely and continue to give premeds to combat as many of the side effects as possible.  It still won't be a walk in the park, but I breathed a little easier after talking to her.  We talked about my rash on my scalp and she said that I was doing all the right things.  I told her that I had bought a baby brush and used that in the shower to gently massage and scratch my head with the baby shampoo.  It feels heavenly and seems to help.  She said that she had never thought of that and was going to share it with others.  Score one for me!

Once we left, I was starving.  (Surprised?  Not I...)  We stopped at Chuy's and got our grub on.  It was tasty as ever, of course.  After that, I was ready for a snooze.  We got home and I curled up with my favorite woobie on the couch.  I ended up sleeping for only about an hour and a half or so, but I was still dazed for a good hour or so after I woke up.

Later in the evening, I went with Matt to drop Maddie off at basketball practice.  We stopped at a few stores to kill some time.  As we were walking up to Bed, Bath and Beyond, my inner nasty bitch came out.  I couldn't help it.  There was a woman standing there as we walked up staring at me like I had three heads.  I mean STARING.  As we walked into the store, I looked her in the eye, took my hat off, smiled and kept walking.  Yes, lady.  I'm a bald chick.  Get a good long look.  Feel better now?  I didn't wait to see if her expression changed.  I just moved along and put my hat back on.  Ugh...

On our way home, I told Matt that I wanted to get some fun wigs.  We stopped at a local sex shop because I knew they had some there.  Yes, you read that correctly and no, don't ask me how I know these things.  I tried on several and settled on a long wavy/curly pink and a long, straight blonde one.  Totally NOT like anything I'd ever sport in my prior hair life but awesomely fun nonetheless.  We took some time to peruse the store and admire the butt plugs, penis pens, inhumanly-sized dildoes and many movies.  Delighful.  As I paid for my wigs, I commented to the sales woman that of all the things I could buy there, I definitely picked the most boring.  She laughed and agreed.

We got home and I let the girls admire my purchases.  They asked where I got them and I dodged the question several times.  (Yes, I realize that they'll read this at some point, but I'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  I'm sure I'll be able to tell by the outburst of "Oh my GOSH, MOM!!!!" and their blushing faces.) We all tried on the wigs and posed for many duck-faced pictures.  It was a silly good time.

I took an Ambien and slept for nearly 9 hours.  It was wonderful.  I also noted that my head wasn't bothering me at all.  Between the steroid and the Benadryl, it helped with the rash.  It's still there but definitely going away.  Oh, happy day!  I've been in a great mood today and feel pretty good as well.  I've only been a little fatigued, so I truly can't complain.

I've been dealt a shitty hand but you know what?  Life is still good.  Last week was rough - mostly because I was just so uncomfortable between the crazy fatigue and my damn itchy head.  It seems so minor overall, but it's still just a piece of this larger journey.  I'll get through it.  I have a lot of really terrific people in my life.  Thank you, thank you, thank you - from the top of my fuzzy little head.

Monday, May 7, 2012

My heart will go on

Today was interesting... I woke up with a super itchy scalp (yeah, surprise, right?) and my heart acting up. I have a mitral valve prolapse which rarely causes me issues these days but periodically, my heart will fibrillate, I'll have trouble catching my breath and can get light-headed. Generally, it's triggered by stress now but lack of sleep can do it, too. It's usually no biggie because I know what it is but given this cancer "fun", I called the doctor today just to be on the safe side. They didn't believe that it was related to chemo at all but felt that I should come in for an EKG just to make sure.

I headed over to the hospital, got my EKG and headed up to the MD Anderson suite to have the results read. One of the nurses, Candy, came out to tell me that it came back normal and was likely due to stress, etc. (Me? Under any stress? You don't say...) She said that if it gets worse to come back right away. Okie doke. Glad I'm fine. I knew I was probably fine, but didn't want to assume.

I also asked Candy about this noggin rash. She told me that it's from the hair falling out and it tends to really irritate the scalp. She told me to use a very mild, fragrance-free shampoo (I am... Baby shampoo!) and hydrocortisone. I stopped at Walgreen's on the way home and got a few different kinds. There were a few metal mini rake back scratchers at the register that I was very tempted to buy as well as a backup plan... I think my eyes glazed over when I saw them. I lathered up as soon as I got home. It seemed to provide some relief but it's still itchy.

I decided that I should lay down for a few to try to calm my gimpy heart down. I woke up three hours later after dreaming and everything. Damn! Clearly, I needed it but geez. I won't sleep well tonight for sure. I'm still in a bit of a stupor and I woke up an hour ago. I'd love to go to bed now but I know better. Sigh.

Other than these annoyances, I felt good today. I was happy and silly still. I don't feel sick otherwise and for that, I am very grateful.

Cancer, schmancer. You won't win.

Where is that damn wire brush??

It's now 4am. I've been wide awake for about two hours now. I woke up to my scalp feeling like fire ants had invaded it. Okay, maybe not quite THAT extreme but it definitely itches way more than a motherfucker now. I broke down and read shit on the Internet. Seems like it's most likely a Taxol side effect. Ugh. I'll call the doctor in the morning. This rash is really taking all the fun out of being bald!

As I lay here in the dark updating this blog from my phone, I am moving my head from side to side to "scratch" it against the pillow. I have the softest sheets on the planet but with my stubbly nubs, it's rather effective.

Shit. That's it. I'm getting out of bed to root around the bathroom. Gold Bond lotion? Cetophyl? Benadryl? How 'bout some good, old fashioned Calamine lotion? That wire brush??? We'll see what works. I'm strangely amused but perhaps it's because it's the middle of the night and I'm blogging about my itchy head!!

Wish me luck.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Debbie Downers need not apply...

I have the Sunday night grumpies. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I'd rather just stay home and sleep alllll day long. This past week has certainly had it's ups and downs.

 Chemo went well on Thursday, but my fatigue has really been powerful - particularly yesterday. My sister, Jenny, came in for the weekend to visit. It was really a great visit. We had fun and laughed a lot - along with the serious conversations. She and the girls cooked several meals to freeze, which was wonderful as well. I really wish that we lived closer and could have more time like we had this weekend. We had gone to run some errands yesterday and the exhaustion kicked me in the teeth suddenly and without warning. It's almost painful to feel that way. Oddly, it doesn't always mean that I'm sleepy or that I'll even sleep even if I AM sleepy. It feels as though every last drop of energy has been pulled out of me by some super magnet. I catch a second or even a third or fourth wind but I get that damn sucker punch again and again. Saturday was - hands down - the most fatigued I've been in the five weeks since I started chemo. I can't help but think that I'm not even a third of the way through my overall chemo. How will I be in another few months? Unable to move? Incapacitated? Is this the worst I'll get and plateau? I keep telling myself, "You're tougher than this. You can do it!" I know it'll get far worse and I should be able to handle this part. Right?

My head is still a hot mess. I already feel like a cow and unfeminine in every way but now I have the creeping crud, too. I've gotten many suggestions but I'm just tired of trying stuff. I find myself jealous of people with smooth, shiny heads. I want one of those, too! Sure, it's about the vanity - but not the baldness itself. I think of scraping my scalp with a wire brush and I literally shudder from the thought. Not because it might hurt - but because it might feel so AWESOME. Is that wrong? It also seems to be growing back on my head but continuing to fall out everywhere else. (Yes, think comb-over. Ew.) The hair loss is still more amusing than anything else to me. (Other than my strange obsession with wanting to go all Mommy Dearest on my scalp.)

As much as I don't want to be a cancer "victim" and let it define me, that's exactly what's happening. I can't think of much else. It's hard not to worry about what's still to come and how I'll manage. I'm as tired of talking about it as I'm sure people are sick of hearing about it and I'm only a month into treatment! I can't ignore the bald, pink-clad elephant in the room so I feel the need to joke or comment on it ALL THE TIME. I don't want people to feel awkward, so maybe if I break the ice first, they'll be more at ease with it. I know it's okay to just shut the fuck up. I need a hobby. Macrame', anyone?

What they say is true - things like this really show people's true colors. I've said it before; I'm very thankful and so humbled by the support that I've gotten. You people have helped me to stay strong. There have also been a few situations of people that have faded back and don't say much these days. I do understand that it can be uncomfortable and people don't always know how to react. I can't say that it doesn't sting a bit. I can't stress over that, though. I need the positive vibes and prayers and thoughts right now. I need all I can get.

I'm really not being very happy or silly or funny tonight, and I apologize. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm in a bad mood, but I'm definitely introspective right now. My life has forever changed and I'm still trying to figure it all out. I've stopped reading crap on the internet unless it's to see if some funky new thing happening to my body is a reaction to the chemo or just me getting old or what. I really have stayed largely upbeat and know that there's always a worse situation to be in. I can't stress it enough - life is too short. I want to enjoy every moment and savor those things that make me happy and laugh and smile. If those things also make me pee a little from laughing, then extra bonus points. I don't have time for negativity or things that will bring me down. (My GOD. Who am I - Miss Texas? What's next? My hopes for world peace?)

My new mantra is "Tomorrow is a new day". Tomorrow will be a good day. I will laugh and love and fight. Anything else is gravy.


Friday, May 4, 2012

Chemo Treatment #5

Good morning! Happy Friday!

I was feeling a little rough yesterday morning. I had a potentially ugly headache but since I was headed to chemo in a few hours, I didn't want to take anything strong for it. I tried to go back to sleep but that didn't help. Once I lumbered myself out of bed an took a good shower (complete with a serenade from my Boy Band playlist which lead to signing and dancing in said shower...) I started to feel a little better.

I followed all of my fun morning rituals at the hospital and then made it into the chemo room. We got #14, which is the same room that I had last week. Before we got situated, horse piss #1. Oy... I got my warm blankets and ice water and was set.

I had another new nurse today, named Cathy. She's very pleasant and sweet but I just didn't bond with her the way I have Lilli or a couple of the others. Granted, it's likely because I slept for nearly the full infusion this time. She hit me up with Benny first and since I was already tired, BAM. The only times I woke up were from the machine suddenly beeping for one reason or anything. It was basically about as uneventful as you can get. No complaints here!

I did have time to sport a lovely black handlebar mustache given to me by a friend. It made me disturbingly androgynous in some pics and well, just creepy in others. I, of course, loved it. I couldn't wear it long because the tape was starting to make my skin itch. The last thing I needed was a mustache-shaped rash on my face. Not pretty. Fun conversation piece but no... During the chemo infusion, I enjoyed dragging my IV stand into the bathroom for horse piss #2. (Geez!)
When we were done - yep, horse piss #3. That's a whole lotta peeing going on!

Afterwards, Matt and I got lunch (Chuy's, if you're curious...), we headed home and I took a nap for about an hour and a half. It wasn't too long but it was enough to recharge me. My headache was gone but I was still a little groggy.

My sister, Jenny, flew in to see me for the weekend. We hung out and chatted until after 1am. Yes, you guessed it, I was wide awake still and could have easily stayed awake all night. I turned to my new friend, Ambien, and was able to sleep a solid 6 hours without waking in between. I'm not sure if I'll encounter any fun surprises when I open my door but I suspect it's all okay. Thank you, makers of Ambien! That's some good - and most needed - shit!

So far, I feel great this morning - as I usually do on Fridays. I have some work to do but look forward to spending time with my sister. It'll be good for the soul. And my belly - given the undoubted silent, hysterical laughs we'll have.

Have a great day, everyone! Sorry this was a rather bland post but hey - sometimes, in my opinion, no major news is the best kind. :) Ciao!