Chemo Treatment #7

Lucky #7!

Yesterday was my mega visit, which includes the nurse assessment and my visit with Dr. Nelson, my oncologist - in addition to the normal bloodwork and chemo sessions.  This meant a nearly 4-hour hospital  excursion.  Good times.

To spice things up a little for this visit, I decided to don my new, sex shop-purchased pink wig.  Why the hell not?  Of all places to wear it, chemo seemed like the most appropriate.  People seemed to love it.  I didn't get the same odd looks that I did with the mohawk or even when I'm bald.   People couldn't help but grin.  As we got onto the elevator, a man around our ages said, "I love the color!"  I said, "It IS natural, you know."  Ha.  Such humor.  He said, "My daughter would love it."  Given the fact that it was a crowded elevator and the strong likelihood that she is on the young side, I refrained from letting him know where he, too, could purchase one.  Oy.

As we got to the very packed doctor's office, I got smiles and several comments.  One of the receptionists said to me, "You know, that's a really good color for you" with a completely serious face.  Of course, her hair was chock full of a rainbow of highlights, but still.  I'd never choose pink in the "real" world, but hey, a compliment is a compliment and I accepted it as such and thanked her as any good girl should.

The nurse was my favorite dude nurse, Mark.  He, of course, loved the wig and told me that he still has my mohawk picture.  I chose not to dwell on that one since it could head towards creepy town very fast.  He asked all the standard questions and we discussed my symptoms this past week.  As I've mentioned, it wasn't a great week.  He asked if I had taken my anti-nausea medicine.  (Compazine)  I told him that I hadn't because after reading the lengthy list of side effects, I decided to suck it up and deal with the nausea.  He stopped writing, closed his eyes, hung his head and said, "You can't DO that.  Don't read that stuff.  Everything you ingest has side effects!  This is one of the mildest. TAKE IT!"  Duly noted.  Will do, sir. We chit-chatted a bit and he handed me a lovely gown and headed out.

While we waited for Dr. Nelson, it was time to put on my glob of lidocaine.  I put on my gown and Matt helped me with my supplies - the lidocaine, a rubber glove and a square of press-and-seal wrap.  MacGyver could do some damage with that stuff, I'm sure.  I dabbed away and grabbed the press-and-seal to keep it in place.  After I stuck it to my chest, I realized that I had put it on backwards, which meant that it stuck to everything BUT my skin.  Ugh.  I couldn't really take it off and turn it around because I'd get the lidocaine everywhere and let's face it - numb fingers and hands and good GOD - a stray nipple - would be rather unfun.  I had to hold my gown loosely open so that it didn't stick but still keep my boobs covered.  Class.  All the way.

When Dr.  Nelson came in, he was definitely flustered.  He said, "WOW! You're really having fun with this thing!"  Um, not so sure that I'm having fun with it - it IS cancer, afterall, but yes, I'm making the most of a shitty situation and am being silly.  He had this weird nervous giggle.  Maybe he has a thing for pink hair? Awkward.  We discussed my symptoms and he said, "You're doing okay."  Okay? Just OKAY?  Not "You're doing really well."?  What the hell?  Matt said that I read way too much into that statement.  I'd never do such a thing.  He asked if I was being dilligent about taking my anti-nausea meds.  Matt shot me an "I TOLD YOU SO" look.  I sheepishly shook my head and told him why.  He laughed and told me to take it; that it would definitely help.  Argh. Busted twice.  He also told me that the fact that my tumor has reduced is huge, so it's working, which is great news.  Indeed, it is!  My counts looked good, so I was free to get chemo.  Yay!

I was very pleased to have Lilli this week!  Woo hoo!  The infusions themselves were the same as always.  As knocked out from the Benadryl as I always get, I couldn't fall asleep.  I'd doze, but never for more than a few minutes at a stretch.  Sadly, there wasn't any monkey porn on or even "Don't Forget the Lyrics".  I don't recall what we watched, but I can barely remember my own name some days, so it's really neither here nor there, I guess.  I was finished at right about noon and off we headed to Chuy's.  Delish.

I've been down this week.  I won't lie.  I don't want to feel weak or sick. (Who does?)  I feel chubby and ugly and all that.  My baby bird hair is starting to fall out again, which is so weird.  Make up your damn mind!  Either grow or fall out, already!  I felt pretty good on Wednesday, but moved very slowly all day.  I didn't hurt but just didn't have a whole lot of energy.  I felt great yesterday and today.  I did take an Ambien last night, but it took over 2 hours to kick in.  I woke up at about 7am today but the medicine hadn't worn off yet.  I felt groggy for most of the day, but not sick or in pain or anything.  It's not like a Benny buzz at all but more like you haven't quite woken up but your brain seems to be working okay.  Tough to explain.

I've found that I feel the most normal on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  I start to feel pretty run down on Saturday and by Sunday, I'm wiped out.  Mondays and Tuesdays are usually okay, but that fatigue smacks me upside the head pretty hard still on those days, too.  I haven't had any significant aches or pains and what I do experience is manageable for the most part.  This past week was the exception, hopefully, and not my new norm.

I actually shot some hoops with Maddie tonight. (And yes, I made many of them!)  It's the most physically active that I've been in 7 weeks.  I know I'll probably pay for it tomorrow, but it was totally worth it tonight.  I didn't suck.  We played for about 30 minutes or so and I decided to quit before I got pooped.  It was lots of fun.

Last weekend, Hannah helped our friends, Margaret and her daughter, Sheridan with a local Relay for Life event.  She was so excited and I was so proud of her.  She sent me a pic of the luminary that she made for me, which was wonderful.  This coming weekend, my friend, Matt F. (I know a LOT of Matts) is participating in a Relay for Life event in Ohio in honor of his mom and me.  Another friend of mine, Mike S. (I know even more Mikes)  ran a marathon in my honor a few weeks ago.  My Facebook wall is flooded every Thursday with people wishing me well during chemo.  I get so many encouraging texts and emails, too.  I'm humbled and honored by all of it.  It's a really crappy reason for sure, but it all means a great deal to me.  You're all pretty damn awesome.  You definitely lift me up when I'm feeling all sorry for myself.  I have my own little pink army and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Okay.  Enough with the sap.  I'm gagging myself.  I have a very early morning tomorrow and I've taken some Advil PM in the hopes that I'll sleep.  Wish me luck!

Adios!