I think the downsides to a mastectomy a pretty clear. No need to rehash them. I've come up with several positives...
1) The obvious: It gets rid of that cancer bastard.
2) My nipples will point forward and outward and will cease to make sparks on the ground when I'm braless.
3) I'll get my first tattoo. It will be an areola, but a tat is a tat.
4) Said tattoo will be by a healthcare professional with numbing cream involved, so I won't have to pretend to be a badass and take the pain or be in a dicey tattoo parlor. Hmmm... Will I be less cool this way? Dammit.
5) I am allowed to be fondled by a Hottie McHotpants with zero objections from my husband. Okay, I know he's my plastic surgeon and all but it still counts! (I will also get fondled by my female surgeon and her female PA, but I think that's likely a bigger plus on Matt's list than mine...)
6) I'm a jiggler. My boobs are like Marty Feldman watching a wayward fly when I walk at a good clip. Jiggles be gone!
7) During the expander phase, I'll get to watch my boobs "grow" before my very eyes - kinda like puberty but without the teenage angst and bad perms.
8) I'll get to take a major nap for several hours during surgery. I can't remember the last time I slept through the night.
9) I get to have fun drains sewn into me which should provide an excellent distraction from the patchy hair coming in on my head. Well, and everywhere else on my body.
10) Free tummy tuck! Duh...
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