Chemo Treatment #13: THE FINAL ONE

I made it!  I finished 13 rounds of chemo!  The last few months have flown by - they really have.  Oddly, I couldn't have been more excited to go to MD Anderson last Thursday. Sure, getting another smackdown of poison in my body wasn't really the fun part, but getting to say that I survived this part of the beastly cancer triathlon was truly awesome stuff.

My PIC, Jenny ("Partner-In-Crime" for the newbies), made a most wonderful boobie cake that was shared with the nursing staff.  The box was complete with wonderful (and some hilariously inappropriate) comments from coworkers.  The cake came complete with gummy nipples and was made of red velvet.  How perfect...  We brought the girls along for the ride, too.  They hung out in the waiting room while I got my premeds and came in once the chemo itself started - only because the room really isn't very comfortable for 5 people for that long.  We busted out silly mustaches and a funky hat and just had a little party. 

Once I was done, all of the nurses came out and I got to ring the bell signaling the end of treatment.  It was just a little clanky cowbell, but dammit - I rang the hell out of that thing!  I did a little Nancy dance, too.  (As if anyone is surprised by that.)  The nurses gave me a lovely cardboard crown that I proudly wore. I actually thought I'd be more emotional.  I was thrilled and giddy but wasn't crying.  I can't say the same for everyone else, though. I spotted some wet eyes...  My nurses have all been so great.  They're wonderful women that I completely trusted my life to.  Lilli, Amber, Sarah, Tracy, Angelette...  They're all rockstars to me.

This is really huge.  I've felt like such a wuss throughout chemo; that I should have been stronger and not missed any work or should have been training for a marathon or something heroic.  I have felt tremendous guilt because I've heard so many stories of people that worked out like crazy during chemo or didn't miss a step in their lives and no one even knew that they had cancer.  I wasn't like that.  I was a loudmouth about it.  I also had crummy days.  Several of them.  I didn't work out.  I was lucky to make it outside quite a few times the week following FAC treatments. I didn't eat particularly healthy during the last 4 rounds because frankly, my appetite was so fucked up that I ate what I could stomach without being completely grossed out.  I didn't exactly sit around eating moonpies and frito pies or anything, but I could have been better.  I don't recommend doing things (or NOT doing them, as the case may be) the way that I did, but it's how I was able to get through it.  All in all, I had far more good days than bad, which is great.  I did expect to feel much sicker and be far more debilitated.  I'm so very thankful that I was as healthy as I was prior to this diagnosis, though.

How that chemo is done, I'm reverting to a much healthier lifestyle.  Diet and exercise are such huge factors in keeping cancer from recurring.  I'm picking the juicing back up.  We had already started buying mostly organic foods.  We tried to avoid processed foods and heavy white sugars/flours.  Because my liver enzymes are a bit elevated from the chemo,  I'm also avoiding alcohol for the foreseeable future.  After just two glasses of wine in five months, I really don't miss it anyway, strangely enough.  I've done it before and it was never a biggie. I still loathe water - especially ice water - but I really hope that goes away as the chemo leaves my system.  (Weird, I know...)

Triple negative breast cancer is known to have one of the lowest survival rates, especially within the first two years.  I have to be vigilant.  I've learned that yes, it CAN happen to me.  Why make it easier?  I have never, ever been a religious person, but all of this has really made me wonder...  I shocked the hell out of Matt recently when I told him that I was strongly considering having a priest visit prior to being wheeled into surgery.  His response?   "YOU??"  Yeah, me.  Whodathunkit.  Of course, I'm not Catholic, so there's that.  Does it matter?  It could be a rabbi, for all I care.  I think the message ultimately will be the same no matter what denomination, no? 

Speaking of surgery, I received my official confirmation date of Monday, 9/17, which is just four weeks from yesterday.  I'm anxious to get this show on the road, but honestly pretty freaked about major surgery.  The only time I've ever been hospitalized was when I gave birth to the girls and those were at least a happy occassions.  Well, kinda.  I was a moody, crying crab when I had Maddie, but that's beside the point...  Please continue to send your good juju my way - even during this month off.  I need to be as strong and healthy as I can be for this surgery both physically and emotionally.  I'm gonna go all needy on your asses.  I'm warning you... 

You may not hear from me this coming month, but I'll do my best to check in here and there.

Following are some pics from the big day.  Enjoy!

Thanks for helping me through this leg.  I love you peeps! Woo hoo!!!!!!

xoxo


                                                       Jenny's fabulous boobie cake

Fun with 'staches

Treatment #13.  Woot!

Ringing the bell

My PIC.  :)