Everybody Poops... Except Me

The one thing that it seems is discussed very little about this whole surgery thing is how much all the meds and anesthesia tend to plug you up. Add to that the fact that I had abdominal surgery, too, and a good solid poop is all but a distant memory. It's a part of the process and good lord does it suck.

For those keeping score, I was admitted into the hospital last Monday. While I'm a pretty regular kinda gal, I hadn't made a daily deposit before things got going, so I hadn't pooped since last Sunday. I've taken my little prescription poop pills and have eaten fruit and fiber and all that good stuff. I was rather gassy on Thursday and Friday, which gave me some mild hope but no... Still not time for the Big Show.

It's a delicate balance since the last thing I want is to go from constipation to diarrhea - especially since I can't exactly hop up and run to the bathroom right now. Matt's a wonderful man but dealing with a barrage of squirty trails to the bathroom just might be the final breaking point.

Finally, after 7 long days, my body decided that today was the day. Matt helped me walk to the bathroom, then gave me privacy to carry out my mission. I assumed the position and prayed to the poop gods. Please, please, PLEASE give me something - even if it's a mere rabbit pellet!

I felt that familiar churn but dared not to get too excited since I've been disappointed before. Low and behold... I finally dropped the kids off at the pool. I took the Browns to the Super Bowl. I snapped off a monkey tail. I pinched a loaf. I told my sister that I found Jimmy Hoffa.

I POOPED!


Hope your day is as blissfully satisfying.

Peace, love and poop.