Because I can be a slacker and a procrastinator, I chose to do my self-exam the morning of my annual exam. With super soapy hands, I did my little circular motion slowly across my right breast and came across a big ol' lump that clearly didn't belong there. It felt to be approximately cherry tomato-sized from my perspective. I immediately went to the other side and... nope, nothing. I can be prone to lumpiness when I've had excessive amounts of caffeine, but this was very different.
While at my exam, I told my nurse practitioner about the lump and she believed it was bigger; closer to golf ball-sized, in fact. She ordered a diagnostic mammogram and an ultrasound for me to check things out. I hoped it was only a cyst or a fibroid. About a week later, I had my appointment. My husband, Matt, came with me for the ultrasound portion if the show. The lump appeared as a ginormous black void on the screen. I gulped....
After the initial ultrasound, the radiologist reviewed the results along with the results from the mammogram. He came in and performed another ultrasound. I got a bad vibe from him immediately. I knew... just knew that it wasn't good. He told us that the lump was not a cyst and that it was a tumor. He also indicated that he saw a lymph node just above my collarbone that appeared to be enlarged as well. He said that a biopsy was necessary. I feared the worst.
A few days later, I went in for the biopsies. The lymph node that they originally saw was located behind a vessel and not easy to get to so they opted to biopsy another. They did that via FNA, or Fine Needle Aspiration. The biopsy in the tumor was done via core biopsy, which was basically just a larger gauge needle. Both of which were several inches long and looked not unlike little guns. Swell. After a few shots of lidocaine, the radiologist was ready to roll.
I'll admit, I was all kinds of curious, so I watched. It was pretty darn cool and looked very similar to the images of an egg being fertilized in vitro. On the scale of pain, waxing is 20 times worse. Now you know. I got a teeny bandage and was done. I was told that I could expect results in 3-5 business days. This was a Monday morning. We were leaving for Alabama that Wednesday to see my mom and sister. I had a feeling that I'd get a call while we were trapped in the car with my girls and I'd have to break the news that way...
Wednesday at 2pm, we were driving through Louisiana and my doctor's office called. I gasped as I saw their number and showed Matt. On the other end was my nurse practitioner, who is such a sweet woman. She told me that she had my results and wanted to know if I wanted to come into the office. (Red flag alert!) I told her that we were driving and wouldn't return until the following Sunday. She asked if I wanted to call when I got to Alabama. I said, "You can tell me here. It's okay." She responded with "Do you have someone with you?" I laughed and said, "You know I'm reading between all these lines, right??" She relented and said, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your lymph node is clear." She paused. I felt my stomach drop. "The bad news is that you do have some cancer in your right breast." All I could think was, "I fucking knew it."
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